In my continuing efforts to not have anything interesting to say about anything that is happening in my life (*which is not much), I expound upon two of the greatest television programs to ever air on the same channel at the same time (*time meaning year, not actual time). Made and My Super Sweet 16 are perhaps the finest reality shows ever. EVER. Holy Crap. Made is only sometimes great. The episodes where a girl wants to join the cheerleading squad or when a girl wants to be a BMX rider or when a girl wants to be a beauty queen or homecoming queen or prom queen suck. They suck.
The episodes where some scrawny nerd decides he wants to play varsity sports also suck.
The only episodes of Made that are always great are the ones where you have a nerdy guy trying to become a ladies' man. Holy fuck. These episdoes are each the saddest, most deluded hour of television ever. I just finished watching one where this kid, Brian, wanted to find a girl to take to the prom. He was one of those smart, nerdy, D&Dplaying, drama fags (aren't they all?) who was preoccupied with Shakespeare and Tenyson and all this antiquated Romantic era shit which was fucking great. He had this actual appreciation for Renaissance-era chivalry and had such romantic intentions and ideas and what does MTV do? They hook him up with this 30ish black guy who dresses like a pimp and who's job it is to now mold this kid into a "mack." Instead of encouraging the shy and quiet to be themselves and say fuck off to conformity, they strip this geek of everything he is and try and turn him into a Ryan Cabrera fan. And guess what? He's just as fucking awkward talking to girls that he has no interest in anyway. He shouldn't be talking to the cheerleading squad. He should find some other insecure drama kid and fall in love and have their own little oddball romance away from television.
So this guy eventually gets all malled up and puts gel in his hair and wears aviator glasses and works out everyday and finally asks out the girl of his dreams, who says that she'll go to prom but only as friends. HE GETS AN AFFIRMATIVE OUT OF THE GIRL HE'S BEEN SECRETLY STALKING FOR 5 YEARS AND HE BLOWS HER OFF. She's like, "Yeah. I'll go to prom with you. But it'll only be as friends" which makes perfect fucking sense because you can't go to the prom with somebody who's not your boyfriend as anything but a friend. I mean, nobody is taking an enemy to the prom, right? Most people, who don't have a bf/gf go to the prom with a friend. He says, point blank, "I guess I was expecting something more." WHAT?? I was a fucking nerd/geek/dork in high school but I was able to reconcile that by not really giving a shit. This kid asks her out, she says yes, and he walks away. I'm still not sure whether he's retarded or a geek Martin Luther King.
That's the kind of mayhem you get on only the most special of Made episodes.
My Super Sweet 16, however, is always gold. Holy fucking holy fuck. This show is beyond description really. The premise of the show is that you take the cuntiest girls who's parents have so much money that these bitches will never have to work a day in their life, and then throw them a 16th birthday party that would rival a regal wedding. Sweet frigging Christ. It's gold. I don't have much to say on this at the moment except that if I'm ever fortunate to fall into a small fortune and I happen to have children (specifically girls) who think that I would ever drop $100,000 on a birthday party, then I'm going to be putting them in a basket and sailing them down the Tiber river to go suck on a wolf's teet.
This was a waste of time. Thanks for seeing it to the end.
The episodes where some scrawny nerd decides he wants to play varsity sports also suck.
The only episodes of Made that are always great are the ones where you have a nerdy guy trying to become a ladies' man. Holy fuck. These episdoes are each the saddest, most deluded hour of television ever. I just finished watching one where this kid, Brian, wanted to find a girl to take to the prom. He was one of those smart, nerdy, D&Dplaying, drama fags (aren't they all?) who was preoccupied with Shakespeare and Tenyson and all this antiquated Romantic era shit which was fucking great. He had this actual appreciation for Renaissance-era chivalry and had such romantic intentions and ideas and what does MTV do? They hook him up with this 30ish black guy who dresses like a pimp and who's job it is to now mold this kid into a "mack." Instead of encouraging the shy and quiet to be themselves and say fuck off to conformity, they strip this geek of everything he is and try and turn him into a Ryan Cabrera fan. And guess what? He's just as fucking awkward talking to girls that he has no interest in anyway. He shouldn't be talking to the cheerleading squad. He should find some other insecure drama kid and fall in love and have their own little oddball romance away from television.
So this guy eventually gets all malled up and puts gel in his hair and wears aviator glasses and works out everyday and finally asks out the girl of his dreams, who says that she'll go to prom but only as friends. HE GETS AN AFFIRMATIVE OUT OF THE GIRL HE'S BEEN SECRETLY STALKING FOR 5 YEARS AND HE BLOWS HER OFF. She's like, "Yeah. I'll go to prom with you. But it'll only be as friends" which makes perfect fucking sense because you can't go to the prom with somebody who's not your boyfriend as anything but a friend. I mean, nobody is taking an enemy to the prom, right? Most people, who don't have a bf/gf go to the prom with a friend. He says, point blank, "I guess I was expecting something more." WHAT?? I was a fucking nerd/geek/dork in high school but I was able to reconcile that by not really giving a shit. This kid asks her out, she says yes, and he walks away. I'm still not sure whether he's retarded or a geek Martin Luther King.
That's the kind of mayhem you get on only the most special of Made episodes.
My Super Sweet 16, however, is always gold. Holy fucking holy fuck. This show is beyond description really. The premise of the show is that you take the cuntiest girls who's parents have so much money that these bitches will never have to work a day in their life, and then throw them a 16th birthday party that would rival a regal wedding. Sweet frigging Christ. It's gold. I don't have much to say on this at the moment except that if I'm ever fortunate to fall into a small fortune and I happen to have children (specifically girls) who think that I would ever drop $100,000 on a birthday party, then I'm going to be putting them in a basket and sailing them down the Tiber river to go suck on a wolf's teet.
This was a waste of time. Thanks for seeing it to the end.
