Dear Ghostface Killah

Hello, Mr. Killah. My name is Sean Sullivan. On May 31st at approx 8:13pm, I sent you a friendship request on the popular online social networking website, MySpace. As of right now (June 18th approx 1:57pm), I see that my friendship request has still not been accepted. What's up, Ghostface? Am I that terrible of a person to have as a friend? Are you worried that you'll lose some street cred if someone is searching through your network of friends and sees a fat white guy in a superhero costume standing in front of the Boston skyline? Does this have something to do with the New York/Boston rivalry? I know it is not because you dislike superheroes. In fact, I know that you probably like superheroes as you often refer to yourself as Tony Starks, which as we all know is the alterego for the Marvel Comics superhero, Ironman. Do you know how I know this, GFK? It is because I am very big fan of your music. I'll admit that I am certainly one of your newer fans, having first heard you on the DangerDoom album and sure, I bought your latest album Fishscale on a whim because it was only $8.99 at Newbury Comics but it is incredible. It will most certainly be in the top five of end-of-the-year-lists-of-things-that-i-like. I was so impressed that I've backtracked and bought Supreme Clientele and the Pretty Toney Album (both great btw). So what's up? Do you want to maybe have a trial run at a friendship before we solidify it in front of the online community. What are you doing tonight? I'm probably just going to rent some videos. You could come over and watch them with me if you want. I'll make popcorn. Have you ever seen the Princess Bride? I heard they just put out a new special edition of it on Dvd and since I don't think I've seen it all the way through before, I figured maybe we could watch it together. What do you say, Ghostface? Is that something you would like to do? We don't have to watch that movie. I have the third season of NewsRadio as well (though I like to watch those while I do the elliptical machine but I guess I could make an exception for you). Maybe we don't even have to watch videos. Contrary to the things I say in my stand-up act, I have been playing some really good mini-golf lately. It's an activity that I don't really enjoy in theory but that I kind of like in practise. There's an old timey looking mini-golf course over Holbrook that me and my girlfriend have been thinking about trying. It's not one of those Rock Cave Waterfall mini-golf courses that have become so commonplace. It's a throwback. Just like some of your music. Anyway, we could just get coffee (I don't drink coffee but I do like Chai) or we could just do some coke or something. Whatever. No biggie. I look forward to hearing back from you soon, Ghostface Killah.

You friend,
Sean