It's been almost two months...
It's been almost two months. The math on that might be a little or lot off but I never claimed to be a mathemagician.
Hey guess what time it is? That's right. It's time to once again talk about the stuff I watched on TV on this wonderful Sunday afternoon.
I know my last update was about watching TV on a Sunday afternoon but this one is completely different. "How's that?" you ask. Well, shut up, fruit loop, and pay attention.
I watched three minutes of television. The first minute and a half was the end of the first segment on a show on MtV called, "Next." It might be Sean Wilkinson's favorite show because Sean Wilkinson only watches crap. (Not like his brother Steve, who doesn't watch television at all. In fact, I'm pretty sure Steve shuns technology altogether. What now, Wilkinson Bros? I just called you both gay.)
On "Next," they take one mildly attractive person and send them on a 5 dates with other mildly attractive persons. When the main mildly attractive person finds a mildly attractive person that s/he wants to take on a second date, s/he then offers them a second date or a dollar for every minute they went on the date. Talk about Must See TV (and talk about Must Read Internet Ramblings. Kill me.) I only watched the end of one segment and guess what? It was a super-sexy lesbian edition. Only they weren't super-sexy lesbians. They were like sporty punk lesbians. With knives.
The final part of the date saw the main mildly attractive lesbian tell the black mildly attractive lesbian that she was on a date with that she had two minutes to eat three cherry pies that were laid out on a table. Holy Cunnilingusuassdasdjg. It was the most blatant lesbian thing that I've ever seen (I'm blind.) And then guess what the black lesbian covered in cherry pie did when she was offered a second date? She took the money. (Insert some cheap stupid racist joke about black people being poor. I'm too lazy to be that lazy.)
The second minute and a half of television watching was of a scene from the epic bug space adventure Starship Troopers that was playing on TBS THE SUPERSTATION (because it truly is super!) The scene was about Doogie Howser, Denise Richards, and some other guy telling a guy with a metal arm and no legs what their military assignments were going to be. Denise was up first and guess what? She's gonna be a pilot. Hope she doesn't fly her spaceship with the same vapid look that suggests her brain is deteriorating from mad cow disease complicated by SARS (I'm SO FUCKING EDGY THAT WHEN I BEAT OFF, I SLICE MY DINK). Then Doogie Howser tells metal arm that he got into games and theory and Denise goes, "Wow. That's military intelligence" because she's a good judge of intelligence (insert callback to madcow disease complicated by SARS but add something about AIDS.) Then the third guy goes, "I'm infantry" and metal arm shakes the third guy's hand and says," Son. Infantry is what made me the man I am today." Then they reveal that metal arm has no legs which I spoiled above but fuck you for not watching it before doing the readings. I can't discuss the movie with you if you've never seen it. But this is a very relevant point. The Infantry or Army or something gave this man a metal arm and took away his legs. So you see? In the future, blah blah blah. Denise Richards didn't even get naked in that movie. Did you know that? I was so pissed when I watched it that I stabbed a cat blind.
I'm gonna try and make a point to write in this more. I won't but I'm gonna try and make a point.
Hey guess what time it is? That's right. It's time to once again talk about the stuff I watched on TV on this wonderful Sunday afternoon.
I know my last update was about watching TV on a Sunday afternoon but this one is completely different. "How's that?" you ask. Well, shut up, fruit loop, and pay attention.
I watched three minutes of television. The first minute and a half was the end of the first segment on a show on MtV called, "Next." It might be Sean Wilkinson's favorite show because Sean Wilkinson only watches crap. (Not like his brother Steve, who doesn't watch television at all. In fact, I'm pretty sure Steve shuns technology altogether. What now, Wilkinson Bros? I just called you both gay.)
On "Next," they take one mildly attractive person and send them on a 5 dates with other mildly attractive persons. When the main mildly attractive person finds a mildly attractive person that s/he wants to take on a second date, s/he then offers them a second date or a dollar for every minute they went on the date. Talk about Must See TV (and talk about Must Read Internet Ramblings. Kill me.) I only watched the end of one segment and guess what? It was a super-sexy lesbian edition. Only they weren't super-sexy lesbians. They were like sporty punk lesbians. With knives.
The final part of the date saw the main mildly attractive lesbian tell the black mildly attractive lesbian that she was on a date with that she had two minutes to eat three cherry pies that were laid out on a table. Holy Cunnilingusuassdasdjg. It was the most blatant lesbian thing that I've ever seen (I'm blind.) And then guess what the black lesbian covered in cherry pie did when she was offered a second date? She took the money. (Insert some cheap stupid racist joke about black people being poor. I'm too lazy to be that lazy.)
The second minute and a half of television watching was of a scene from the epic bug space adventure Starship Troopers that was playing on TBS THE SUPERSTATION (because it truly is super!) The scene was about Doogie Howser, Denise Richards, and some other guy telling a guy with a metal arm and no legs what their military assignments were going to be. Denise was up first and guess what? She's gonna be a pilot. Hope she doesn't fly her spaceship with the same vapid look that suggests her brain is deteriorating from mad cow disease complicated by SARS (I'm SO FUCKING EDGY THAT WHEN I BEAT OFF, I SLICE MY DINK). Then Doogie Howser tells metal arm that he got into games and theory and Denise goes, "Wow. That's military intelligence" because she's a good judge of intelligence (insert callback to madcow disease complicated by SARS but add something about AIDS.) Then the third guy goes, "I'm infantry" and metal arm shakes the third guy's hand and says," Son. Infantry is what made me the man I am today." Then they reveal that metal arm has no legs which I spoiled above but fuck you for not watching it before doing the readings. I can't discuss the movie with you if you've never seen it. But this is a very relevant point. The Infantry or Army or something gave this man a metal arm and took away his legs. So you see? In the future, blah blah blah. Denise Richards didn't even get naked in that movie. Did you know that? I was so pissed when I watched it that I stabbed a cat blind.
I'm gonna try and make a point to write in this more. I won't but I'm gonna try and make a point.
