I'm working at the RMV again this summer which really isn't as bad as I like to make it out to sound. The only thing that sucks is that I work at the Registry in Brockton which is where I grew up and went to high school. So inevitably, I run into people I went to high school with and I always feel compelled to tell them that this is only temporary, that I'm doing other stuff on the side, that I'm not settling here for the long haul. Granted, none of it is warranted as the people I run into either don't care or don't remember me but I get anxious everytime. It's like everyday is a high school reunion where I don't have the opportunity to lie about the shitty job I have because the reunion is taking place at the place where I work.
Which got me thinking. Do you think there was ever a time where a kid somewhere did have to work his high school reunion? Like the kid was a little slow getting his shit together and had to work temporarily at a catering company and he got a call for a job that was the same night as his high school reunion and he hated having to turn down the money until he found out that the job was his high school reunion. And he tried to play both sides. Like he tried to schmooze with all the people he went to school with but at the same time he was passing out appetizers. Cause then he'd be remembered by all that attended as the most considerate and thoughtful guest at the reunion and he'd be known as the friendliest employee by his bosses.
But then he got carried away and he got caught fingering his high school sweetheart in the bathroom and was then very publicly fired from his job in front of the whole reunion. But then the people were like, "Whoa! You can't fire him! He's the most considerate and thoughtful guest at the reunion!" And then the guy who got sacked would be like, "Yeah! Class of 93 Rules! Fuck you! You can't fire me. I quit!" And then he goes back to the bathroom to finish off his high school sweetheart but you know how word travels in high school and by the time he gets to the bathroom she's already heard about how her high school boyfriend was just fired from the catering company that was catering their high school reunion and she starts feeling all guilty about cheating on her husband with her fuckup ex-boyfriend who couldn't even hold down a catering job and she starts thinking about her kids and she starts crying and then goes and pounds shot after shot of tequilla and pukes on the dance floor just like she did at the prom.
Ultimately this story ends with the catering guy drag racing then quaterback of the football team in a El Camino or something but I didn't feel like writing anymore. Maybe someday.
Also, to everyone who came to the Great and Secret Show from Brockton on the night I hosted (steve,agganis,rachel,alison,dugan,jalex,jamie?,otherpeople), thank you for coming. I genuinely appreciate the support and all of you know how ungenuine I am about everything so I insist you believe my sincerity just this once.
