The World Series

I put off talking about the Red Sox winning the World Series for long enough. Being in New York, it was great to see Boston shine. At least five times a day during the ALCS, someone on the street would go out of their way to scream "Who's Your Daddy?" just because I had a Sox hat on. And I never waivered. I wore my Sox hat. I somehow snuck myself into the Riveira Cafe during Sox/Yankees Game 6 and celebrated with 500 crazed Sox fans in the downtown Manhattan. I got swept away. I never cared about baseball and all of the sudden I was caring more about baseball than personal hygiene (It's true. I haven't cut my hair since probably June and rarely shave anymore.)

But I'm worried. Now that the Sox have won the World Series, where do we go from here? Winning the World Series is the athletic equivalent of walking on the moon. It's the ultimate accomplishment. But think about it. What did all those astronauts do after they walked on the moon? That's right. Nothing. They start drinking and beating their wives and did a whole lot of nothing good. And who could blame them? What could you ever possibly do in your life that would top walking on the fucking moon? You can't go back and work at a car dealership or in a Hostess factory cause you walked on the moon. The only thing you can do to keep from bottoming out is to continue to walk on the moon. That's what the Yankees did. They walked on the moon and said, "This is fucking awesome" and went back 26 times.

I don't think Red Sox Nation is prepared to walk on the moon. We're Apollo 13. We're always on our way to the moon and something always goes wrong. No matter how many times y ou watch that movie, something always goes wrong. Look at Jim Lovell. He never walked on the moon and he turned out all right. He became a senator, something somebody could respect. Red Sox Nation... we could have been senators!

But... then again... I guess Boston doesn't really want to be Senators. I mean look at our two senators. One of them tried desperately to switch jobs and failed miserably and the other is Ted Kennedy... and let's be honest. Nobody wants to be Ted Kennedy.

The Red Sox won and Red Sox Nation has a taste for victory and if the Red Sox don't continue to deliver victory, we're fucked. Or maybe not. If ever there was a city that represented womanizing drunks, it'd be Boston.

So cheers to us, Boston! Get ready for some good old fashioned drunken spousal abuse if the Red Sox don't continue to walk on the moon and just remember.... The Red Sox repped Boston better than John Kerry! We're only 50% loser now!

Matsui is indeed ugly.

Yes. That is the signature of the manager of the 2004 World Champion Red Sox, Mr. Terry Francona.

Election Day Eve

Dear friends,
I am writing this to inform you that I, like many Americans, will not be going to the polls tomorrow. That is because I am currently living in a state where I am not registered to vote and I will not be able to return to my state of registration to vote. I also did not file for an absentee ballot.

Does this make me a lousy American? Maybe. But unwilling to decide between two pieces of poop, I'm sitting this one out. Now, please know, this is not out of apathy. It is not an apathetic action. It was a choice. I looked at both sides and realized that both candidates are kind of sucky. I don't think either is going to do a good job. So... I abstain.

"But Sean... every vote counts!"

Well... yes... and no. You see, friends, I, like most of you, hail from the great state... err... commonwealth of Massachusetts. And as you and I both know, there is no fucking way in hell that a democratic senator from Massachusetts running for president of the united states is ever going to lose the state of Massachusetts. It's impossible. Even if I was going to vote for Bush (which I'm not- I'm not voting), my vote would just be compiled into a mass electoral vote which will undoubtedly be for John Kerry. Ah, democracy.

Also, if you happen to read this, P-Diddy, I hate you.
Yes. I hate you, P-Diddy.
"Vote or Die"?
Really?
Die?
I know South Park already adequately addressed P-Diddy and "Vote or Die" but I just think it's phenomenally retarded that P-Diddy have any sort of platform to sway millions of young people. Do you realize how dangerous "Vote or Die" is? Do you realize that if P-Diddy went on TV and said, "Sew or Die" or "Bowl or Die," sewing shops would run out of thread and bowling alleys would be filled with people 24 hours a day. I knew a kid named Jason Chamberlain who would spend $150 on a pair of sneakers if some celebrity was endorsing them and voting's free. You don't have to spend any money to vote. If Jason Chamberlain would spend $150 on a pair of sneaker cause P-Diddy said to, he sure as shit would spend $0 voting for the person P-Diddy wants.

And why, P-Diddy, do you operate under the pretense that you don't care who young people are voting for so long as they vote? I know I'm not the only one who sees this for the crock of shit that it is. P-Diddy is for John Kerry. Vote or Die. Vote = Kerry, Die = Bush. That's really what you're saying, P. Just admit that you would rather someone thinking about voting for Bush, stay home on election day. You don't want Bush. Fine. Say it. Say, "I'm for John Kerry." But interrupt the Real World/Road Rules Challenge with your bullshit message of "Vote or Die."

It's not even an effective slogan. It's weak. How confident are that Bush has already won if you give kids two choices: vote or death. How bout "Vote or Get Cancer." At least then you're being less vague about how you'll die. If not voting gave me cancer, I'd vote a thousand times. I don't want cancer.
I just think it's wrong that P-Diddy has probably a quarter of a million votes and I don't even think he knows why he wants Kerry.

And before I finish and label this another right-wing rant, please note that it is not a right-wing rant. If I were someone who would make right-wing rants, I'd probably be voting, right? I'm just saying how I feel. The electoral process is very important and I hope anyone who doesn't vote can justify to themselves why they are not voting. And if you want to attack me, just think about this: at least, I didn't vote for the other guy : )