The World Series
I put off talking about the Red Sox winning the World Series for long enough. Being in New York, it was great to see Boston shine. At least five times a day during the ALCS, someone on the street would go out of their way to scream "Who's Your Daddy?" just because I had a Sox hat on. And I never waivered. I wore my Sox hat. I somehow snuck myself into the Riveira Cafe during Sox/Yankees Game 6 and celebrated with 500 crazed Sox fans in the downtown Manhattan. I got swept away. I never cared about baseball and all of the sudden I was caring more about baseball than personal hygiene (It's true. I haven't cut my hair since probably June and rarely shave anymore.)
But I'm worried. Now that the Sox have won the World Series, where do we go from here? Winning the World Series is the athletic equivalent of walking on the moon. It's the ultimate accomplishment. But think about it. What did all those astronauts do after they walked on the moon? That's right. Nothing. They start drinking and beating their wives and did a whole lot of nothing good. And who could blame them? What could you ever possibly do in your life that would top walking on the fucking moon? You can't go back and work at a car dealership or in a Hostess factory cause you walked on the moon. The only thing you can do to keep from bottoming out is to continue to walk on the moon. That's what the Yankees did. They walked on the moon and said, "This is fucking awesome" and went back 26 times.
I don't think Red Sox Nation is prepared to walk on the moon. We're Apollo 13. We're always on our way to the moon and something always goes wrong. No matter how many times y ou watch that movie, something always goes wrong. Look at Jim Lovell. He never walked on the moon and he turned out all right. He became a senator, something somebody could respect. Red Sox Nation... we could have been senators!
But... then again... I guess Boston doesn't really want to be Senators. I mean look at our two senators. One of them tried desperately to switch jobs and failed miserably and the other is Ted Kennedy... and let's be honest. Nobody wants to be Ted Kennedy.
The Red Sox won and Red Sox Nation has a taste for victory and if the Red Sox don't continue to deliver victory, we're fucked. Or maybe not. If ever there was a city that represented womanizing drunks, it'd be Boston.
So cheers to us, Boston! Get ready for some good old fashioned drunken spousal abuse if the Red Sox don't continue to walk on the moon and just remember.... The Red Sox repped Boston better than John Kerry! We're only 50% loser now!
But I'm worried. Now that the Sox have won the World Series, where do we go from here? Winning the World Series is the athletic equivalent of walking on the moon. It's the ultimate accomplishment. But think about it. What did all those astronauts do after they walked on the moon? That's right. Nothing. They start drinking and beating their wives and did a whole lot of nothing good. And who could blame them? What could you ever possibly do in your life that would top walking on the fucking moon? You can't go back and work at a car dealership or in a Hostess factory cause you walked on the moon. The only thing you can do to keep from bottoming out is to continue to walk on the moon. That's what the Yankees did. They walked on the moon and said, "This is fucking awesome" and went back 26 times.
I don't think Red Sox Nation is prepared to walk on the moon. We're Apollo 13. We're always on our way to the moon and something always goes wrong. No matter how many times y ou watch that movie, something always goes wrong. Look at Jim Lovell. He never walked on the moon and he turned out all right. He became a senator, something somebody could respect. Red Sox Nation... we could have been senators!
But... then again... I guess Boston doesn't really want to be Senators. I mean look at our two senators. One of them tried desperately to switch jobs and failed miserably and the other is Ted Kennedy... and let's be honest. Nobody wants to be Ted Kennedy.
The Red Sox won and Red Sox Nation has a taste for victory and if the Red Sox don't continue to deliver victory, we're fucked. Or maybe not. If ever there was a city that represented womanizing drunks, it'd be Boston.
So cheers to us, Boston! Get ready for some good old fashioned drunken spousal abuse if the Red Sox don't continue to walk on the moon and just remember.... The Red Sox repped Boston better than John Kerry! We're only 50% loser now!
3 Comments:
Its been like a month, Sean. This blog sucks. StephenWilkinsondot net is so much better at updating, and at life.
I think Ted Kennedy has done a lot of good for marginalized people. Wouldn't want to be married to him. And i guess I could be, since we're both from Massachusetts. I guess I don't want to BE him either. So, you're right. Why did I even write this?
I want to be Ted Kennedy.
Who wouldnt want to get so hammered that they forgot that they drove a car off a bridge with someone still inside?
-Chuck D.
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