Monday, November 01, 2004

Election Day Eve

Dear friends,
I am writing this to inform you that I, like many Americans, will not be going to the polls tomorrow. That is because I am currently living in a state where I am not registered to vote and I will not be able to return to my state of registration to vote. I also did not file for an absentee ballot.

Does this make me a lousy American? Maybe. But unwilling to decide between two pieces of poop, I'm sitting this one out. Now, please know, this is not out of apathy. It is not an apathetic action. It was a choice. I looked at both sides and realized that both candidates are kind of sucky. I don't think either is going to do a good job. So... I abstain.

"But Sean... every vote counts!"

Well... yes... and no. You see, friends, I, like most of you, hail from the great state... err... commonwealth of Massachusetts. And as you and I both know, there is no fucking way in hell that a democratic senator from Massachusetts running for president of the united states is ever going to lose the state of Massachusetts. It's impossible. Even if I was going to vote for Bush (which I'm not- I'm not voting), my vote would just be compiled into a mass electoral vote which will undoubtedly be for John Kerry. Ah, democracy.

Also, if you happen to read this, P-Diddy, I hate you.
Yes. I hate you, P-Diddy.
"Vote or Die"?
Really?
Die?
I know South Park already adequately addressed P-Diddy and "Vote or Die" but I just think it's phenomenally retarded that P-Diddy have any sort of platform to sway millions of young people. Do you realize how dangerous "Vote or Die" is? Do you realize that if P-Diddy went on TV and said, "Sew or Die" or "Bowl or Die," sewing shops would run out of thread and bowling alleys would be filled with people 24 hours a day. I knew a kid named Jason Chamberlain who would spend $150 on a pair of sneakers if some celebrity was endorsing them and voting's free. You don't have to spend any money to vote. If Jason Chamberlain would spend $150 on a pair of sneaker cause P-Diddy said to, he sure as shit would spend $0 voting for the person P-Diddy wants.

And why, P-Diddy, do you operate under the pretense that you don't care who young people are voting for so long as they vote? I know I'm not the only one who sees this for the crock of shit that it is. P-Diddy is for John Kerry. Vote or Die. Vote = Kerry, Die = Bush. That's really what you're saying, P. Just admit that you would rather someone thinking about voting for Bush, stay home on election day. You don't want Bush. Fine. Say it. Say, "I'm for John Kerry." But interrupt the Real World/Road Rules Challenge with your bullshit message of "Vote or Die."

It's not even an effective slogan. It's weak. How confident are that Bush has already won if you give kids two choices: vote or death. How bout "Vote or Get Cancer." At least then you're being less vague about how you'll die. If not voting gave me cancer, I'd vote a thousand times. I don't want cancer.
I just think it's wrong that P-Diddy has probably a quarter of a million votes and I don't even think he knows why he wants Kerry.

And before I finish and label this another right-wing rant, please note that it is not a right-wing rant. If I were someone who would make right-wing rants, I'd probably be voting, right? I'm just saying how I feel. The electoral process is very important and I hope anyone who doesn't vote can justify to themselves why they are not voting. And if you want to attack me, just think about this: at least, I didn't vote for the other guy : )


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