Bus Ride
Sometimes when I'm on campus in Amherst, I need to take the bus home to my house in Sunderland. Generally, the public transportation is relatively devoid of "crazies." I live in New York for four months. I know what it's like to ride the subway all day filled with crazy people. But in the Pioneer Valley, it's relatively sane.
That is until today, when one stop from my house, the bus overshot the stop and a crazy old Prospector looking fellow, hat and everything, carrying an enormous tree branch cane, got on. The bus driver was listening to the Who, at a decent volume. Here is what the crazy old Prospector said:
"Don't you know where the goddamn fucking bus stop is? There's a goddamn fucking sign. I'm a goddamn fucking crippled old man. I should break out the goddamn fucking windows. Stupid goddamn fucking kid. Probably the same goddamn fucking kid that's always listening to the goddamn fucking radio instead of paying attention to the goddamn fucking road. I SHOULD REPORT YOU TO YOUR GODDAMN FUCKING SUPERVISOR! It's a goddamn fucking federal offense. Did you hear me? A goddamn fucking federal offense to be listening to the goddamn fucking radio instead of paying attention to the goddamn fucking road. A federal offense. I don't know if you know this but this is still the goddamn fucking United States of America, even if you don't think so."
It was the most I had ever heard the words "goddamn" followed by "fucking" in my life. It was truly one of the watershed events in my life. In New York, the subways are filled with crackheads and homeless people and while they're crazy, they're not particularly violent. Out in Western MA, our crazies don't know that the Cold War is over. They think communists have infiltrated the White House and that they are sworn to protect the great United States of America, even if that means handing out sentences of capital punishment to bus drivers who listen to the Who.
That is until today, when one stop from my house, the bus overshot the stop and a crazy old Prospector looking fellow, hat and everything, carrying an enormous tree branch cane, got on. The bus driver was listening to the Who, at a decent volume. Here is what the crazy old Prospector said:
"Don't you know where the goddamn fucking bus stop is? There's a goddamn fucking sign. I'm a goddamn fucking crippled old man. I should break out the goddamn fucking windows. Stupid goddamn fucking kid. Probably the same goddamn fucking kid that's always listening to the goddamn fucking radio instead of paying attention to the goddamn fucking road. I SHOULD REPORT YOU TO YOUR GODDAMN FUCKING SUPERVISOR! It's a goddamn fucking federal offense. Did you hear me? A goddamn fucking federal offense to be listening to the goddamn fucking radio instead of paying attention to the goddamn fucking road. A federal offense. I don't know if you know this but this is still the goddamn fucking United States of America, even if you don't think so."
It was the most I had ever heard the words "goddamn" followed by "fucking" in my life. It was truly one of the watershed events in my life. In New York, the subways are filled with crackheads and homeless people and while they're crazy, they're not particularly violent. Out in Western MA, our crazies don't know that the Cold War is over. They think communists have infiltrated the White House and that they are sworn to protect the great United States of America, even if that means handing out sentences of capital punishment to bus drivers who listen to the Who.
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