A rebuttle?

We here at www.sean-sullivan.com like to give all sides a voice. Matt Traub mistakenly thinks that this website is a living breathing organism and therefore shouted his responces over AIM. Addison22 is his AIM name. He's never on because he's busy... selling CPR dummies to high schools that already have them. Matt Traub, you are Willy Loman and like Willy Loman, we can only hope that someday you will kill yourself. Stay true, peaches.

Addison22: Sean Sullivan - Your a fat miserable fuck and if I thought your health would allow you to live past the age of 25 I would actually put some effort into rebuttle.

Sean George - Your from Martha's Vinyard...Shut the fuck up.

Salamone - Is it true your over circumsized...All head and no shaft?

Rogers - You can catch "Fat"...stay away from the Seans.

Punch - Thats actually funny.

Sean Cote - The skinny gay one of the 3 "Seans"...This kid never had a chance...like everyone else I know from NH.

Jess - You have the best tits on this list and beleive me theres alot of competition (Sean 1 & 2).

Sam - Your sister wants me...

Ken - Right back at you.

Andrea - I got those crabs from you babe...

Fuck you all...!

The Reviews Are In!!!

"Your website might be the worst fucking website on the whole fucking internet!"

Matt Traub, esq.

I just want to thank Mr Traub for his kind words. This really is an honor. Wow. I don't really know what to say. I guess I really just want to thank Matt Traub. Man, this is... I'm tearing up writing this. He really is the best. Matt Traub... this post is for you.

Oh. You don't know who Matt Traub is? Well, let me share some stories.

First and foremost, Matt Traub is my friend. I don't care what he says. We're just friends.

Nothing more. If he tries to tell you we're something more, he's lying. It's just platonic. We met in college, specifically the University of Massachusetts. We took a class together called Theater 160. This was a class that was designed to give you an overview of all aspects of the technical side of theater. There was a basic costume design part, a basic lighting part, a basic stagecraft part, and a basic drafting part. The class also served to give an overview of how much Matt Traub shouldn't have majored in theater.

If ever there were a person less suited for a degree in theater, I've yet to meet him. Matt would have been a great banker or Gucchi sunglass designer. Really. He'd be tremendous. Certainly more effective than he is as a pulmonary respirator salesman. If you've ever watched that show Entourage, Matt Traub is like a combination of all those characters without the talent, charisma, personality, or good looks.

Matt was recently on MySpace. He had four friends including Tom, SeanGeorge, and myself. He told me that he took himself off of MySpace and that he was going to come back in like a month and blow up. It's Machiavelli's Seven Day thing that people thought Tupac was doing back when people thought Tupac faked his own death.
The only difference is that Tupac actually died and nobody cares about Matt Traub. Believe me, Matt, if this website is any indication, if you disappear for a month and then all of a sudden reemerge, nobody cares.

Matt lives in Andover now, where he most likely spend the rest of his miserable life. Sure, he makes much more money than me selling CPR dummies to nursing homes and yeah, sure, he's a jew and he lives in a converted church (grrrrr... heathen) and so what if he drives a company car and smells like roses (he was a queer eyed straight guy long before the show). I've got one thing that he doesn't have... (psst... it's the Gift of Dance), that's right, the Gift of Dance.

So, Matt Traub, I thank you for your review of my website. And to return the favor, here are some more reviews (this time, they're of you.)

"You suck" - Me
"Why would review that piece of shit?" - SeanGeorge
"Two and a half stars out of five" - Michael Salamone
"I don't want to say pedophile but that's the first thing that comes to mind" - Mark Rogers
"The Jewish Bill Growney" - Brian Punch
"I'm dead." - Gene Siskel
"Matt Traub's greatest ability is finding the gayest clothes in the Salvation Army dumpster as possible" - Sean Cote
"Adorable, bite-sized Jew" - Jess Burday
" okadally dokadally. this kid is soo cool he drops off myspaces. cool matt. he's says wait til he comes back. like a hurricane. im not sure if he was quoting the band scorpions but i think hes just an idiot. if you thought hurricane katrina was bad you havent seen matt "the hurricane" traub." - Matt Traub's friend, Sam
"broadshouldered and pure of heart" - Ken Reid
"Matt Traub has crabs" - Andrea Henry

Feel free to leave more reviews of Matt Traub in the comments and I'll be sure to add them to the main page.

A post? Impossible.

I saw Mission: Impossible III with my friend, Steve. I asked him if he wanted to go because earlier in the day, we had gotten into a heated discussion about Scientology on AOL (R) Instant Messanger (TM) software. He thought that Scientology was the most fucked thing ever because Scientologists believe some pretty crazy stuff and I thought that Scientology was the most fucking awesome thing ever because it is!!! (I recently converted. It's pretty fun. Best part? No Catholic guilt. If anybody wants to talk about it sometime, I'd be more than happy to*)

*for a nominal fee

I read an article in Rolling Stone about Scientology one day while I was working at the RMV. My boss kept telling me to put the magazine down and get back to work and I kept telling him that if he didn't leave me alone, I'd have Xenu throw him in a volcano. I couldn't ever actually convert to Scientology because it's incredibly expensive. Like really expensive. I think money really does make some people go insane and I'm glad that crazy, rich people have Scientology to throw their money at because if it wasn't there, Tom Cruise would be a James Bond Villian. Like if he didn't have to spend so much time trying to defend his crazy religion, he'd probably be building lazers to blow up the moon. And he could do it. The newest EW (that's Entertainment Weekly for you gays not in the biz... I'm not in the biz) says on the cover that he made $100,000,000 for War of the Worlds. That doesn't even make sense. I might have read the article inside and they might have said that when they tried to calculate why he made that much money on that movie, that their calculators might have exploded. $100,000,000 is some James Bond villian type stuff.

Which brings us back to MI:3 where Tom Cruise doesn't play a James Bond villain but instead a poor excuse for James Bond. For what it was, there was a lot of blowing stuff up and a lot of P.S. Hoffman being bad ass. Also, there was a whole lot of suspension of disbelief because as we all know Tom Cruise is batshit crazy and if he were to infiltrate the Vatican like he does in the movie, he wouldn't be arresting terrorists. He'd be killing popes!!! Because Scientologists believe that Christianity is a false idea planted by some word that Steve looked up on the Wikipedia that essentially means Anti-Scientologists. Anti-Scientologists have planted all these crazy ideas that serve to counteract the work of Xenu or whatever. These ideas include all major religions, stuff like all scientific facts, evolution, babies. It's fucked. You know who else are Anti-Scientologists? Oh I don't know. Everyone who's not a scientologist.

On a whole though, Tommy C seems to be able to seperate work and crazy and not plant Scientology propaganda in his big budget blow-em-ups. Which is great but I still think they let a few slide. Like when PS Hoffman has Tom Cruise tied up in a chair and PS tortures Cruise-o's wife and Cruise is like "You madman! You need auditing!" or like when he's sliding down some Chinese building made out of angled glass and he's shooting armed guards and shouting "Jesus can suck one of Xenu's 8 dicks."

Maybe those scenes weren't in the movie. But it wouldn't have been funny.

I should probably proofread this stuff and make sure it's funny before I post it. I really am pretty terrible. Top that, Silvestri. Kaplan, you don't have to top anything. Steve, how accurate was this? Anyone else who accidentally reads this, I apologize.