The I Doctor

Today, I went to the eye doctor because I've felt my vision has been getting worse when driving at night and I drive at night all the time. Apparently, my prescription hasn't changed at all. The doctor said, "When you're driving at night, try blinking more."

Blinking more?

I paid $15 to have somebody tell me to blink more? I think there should be a law or something passed where if a patient comes in thinking that there is something wrong with them, a doctor should be obligated to lie and tell them. Don't tell me my prescription hasn't changed. Tell me it's changed a lot and that I need to get new glasses immediately. I'll get the new glasses. I'll get three new glasses. The reason the economy in this country is in trouble (and I'm not even sure if it is because I know next to nothing about economics but for the sake of arguement let's say that the economy is in trouble) is because doctor's are too honest with their patients.

So sorry, Lenscrafters, looks like you won't be getting any of my money this year because Dr. Peppercorns says that I don't need new glasses. I hope you'll be able to make it through the winter this year, Lenscrafters. Bundle up cause it's just gonna get colder, you homeless eyeglass store thing.

Describing Dinosaurs to Blind People

Aw, dude... dinos or dinosaurs for long, ruled the earth like a wicked long time ago. Before Jesus, who was this guy that was like the son of God, who's this thing that made everything. Even you, my blind friend. Umm... anyway. Dinosaurs are like lizards. I think. Yeah. Lizards but bigger. Unless you believe what they say in Jurassic Park and you think dinosaurs are actually more like chickens and birds, which are... well that's besides the point. You remember Jurassic Park? 'Member we saw it in 6th grade? Well... I saw it and you... Jeez... Um.. anyway they were like huge and ah scary. Really scary. Well only some of them were scary. Kinda like people. Some kinds of people are scary and other kinds of people are nice. Crap. I'm not talking about skin color. Not that you know what that is. Fuck. This is hard all right. It's not easy to describe dinosaurs to a person like you. Shit. I've never even seen a dinosaur.

Hunh. I've never seen a dinosaur and you've never seen a dinosaur. I guess we're more alike than we once thought, eh?

Oh well. I gotta go watch more reruns of the second season Laguna Beach. I hope one of the bitchy chicks does something slutty. You can just let yourself out.