I'm not very good at organizing things. Today... I started trying to get a poker game going for this evening around 1pm and I have made no progress. None. I am not very good at organizing things.

That was what I called a modified haiku.

I have a bachelor's degree. What do you know, you smug bastard?

Don't tell me that's not a modified haiku! I'll cut you, bitch!

I am on the verge of graduating from college. Tomorrow is commencement and then I'm "officially" done with school. I'm staying in Amherst till Tuesday and then I'm moving all my stuff home. I don't go back to work until June 20th.

Between Wednesday May 25th and Monday June 20th, I need to somehow make somewhere between 500,000 and 2.4 million dollars that I can somehow sustain myself on so that I don't have to work for awhile. Prospects are good.

I've got some stuff stand-up wise coming up but I'm too lazy to get my PalmPilot and look up the dates. I'm pretty good about being terrible at marketing.

I bought Team America on dvd and the third Planetary graphic novel because I got my tax returns back and the government decided that I was too poor/lazy/lazyagain to justify taking the little money I have from me.

I'll leave with a funny anecdote that happened to an imaginary guy named Charlie.

"So we were sitting up on the ledge. You know. Like a steel beem. We're sitting up there eating our lunch when all of a sudden, Rico loses his balance, which is pretty hard to do when you're sitting dow, and falls 20 stories to his death. Ain't that something."

Post PIAD

On Friday 5/13, I randomly selected 3 actors and an ensemble of 8. I then had to write a 10 minute play using the trigger line, "More than you can imagine." I took this all to the Sketch 22 "comedy" show. I came up with a basic situation and then left about half-way through the "comedy" show because I had enough of the "comedy" and was becoming quite "angry" at how "funny" it was.

I started writing at 10pm. I finished the first draft at 12:30am. I then let Seangeorge read it while I watched the Sox lose like 84-3. I finished a second draft at 1:30am. We went to the Whately diner at 2:15 where I ate a BLT and greasy fries. I then went home and slept.

I woke up at 7:15, took a shower, and got dressed. I made it to the Fine Arts Center at 8 and dropped off my play. I met my director, Byam Stevens, artistic director of the Miniature Theater of Chester, and discussed my play and cleared up any confusion. I stayed there until 11:30 then came home and went to sleep.

I woke up around 4, ate some Frosted Mini-Wheats, and watched part of Rambo II, part of Rambo III, and part of the 13th Warrior with Seangeorge. We also watched the video game channel. I then took another shower and got dressed. I went to Kassandra's to iron my shirt and then back to my house to get food from my parents.

I got hamburgers, rolls, sandwich steaks, chicken, cookies, caramel creams, stuffing, shake and bake, and green beans. I then went back to the Fine Arts Center at 7 to hang out till the show started at 8.

My play went last. Four plays went before mine.

Afterward, I had to awkwardly stand around while people kept telling me how much they loved my play. I, being unable to take compliments and also being slightly jaded, shut down at what I presumed was false sincerity but was actually more likely sincere sincerity. I then went to an after-party where I did more awkward standing and then to an after-after-party where, again, I awkwardly stood. Then I went to sleep.

The name of my play was "Mr. Sawyer's 4th Grade International History Class Presents The "Rape" of the Merchant Class: A Discussion Play in Five Acts by Shaw Williams Ibsen." I will most likely register it with the Writer's Guild at some point. If you would care to read it let me know. I should have a copy of it on DVD some time in the next 2-12 months.

I finished my play

I finished my play. It is called "Mr. Sawyer's 4th Grade International History Class presents The "Rape" of the Merchant Class: A Discussion Play in Five Acts by Shaw Williams Ibsen"

Seangeorge thought it was funny.

If you would like to see it, come to the Rand theater at 8pm tomorrow night.

I'm abandoning this live blogging because it's silly.

PIAD Update 2

I'm on a roll.
I promise...
Banditos...
Pirates...
Ninjas...

It's gonna knock the pants off of Mulberry Elementary.

PIAD Update 1

I'm just writing to quickly say that it is now 9:50. I just got home from receiving my "instructions" and watching have of the Sketch 22 show. While there, I came up with a situation and characters. I will now begin writing. If this is what you had planned to do all night (watch my blog), I assure you'd be better suited stabbing your knees with paintbrushes.

Bus Ride

Sometimes when I'm on campus in Amherst, I need to take the bus home to my house in Sunderland. Generally, the public transportation is relatively devoid of "crazies." I live in New York for four months. I know what it's like to ride the subway all day filled with crazy people. But in the Pioneer Valley, it's relatively sane.

That is until today, when one stop from my house, the bus overshot the stop and a crazy old Prospector looking fellow, hat and everything, carrying an enormous tree branch cane, got on. The bus driver was listening to the Who, at a decent volume. Here is what the crazy old Prospector said:

"Don't you know where the goddamn fucking bus stop is? There's a goddamn fucking sign. I'm a goddamn fucking crippled old man. I should break out the goddamn fucking windows. Stupid goddamn fucking kid. Probably the same goddamn fucking kid that's always listening to the goddamn fucking radio instead of paying attention to the goddamn fucking road. I SHOULD REPORT YOU TO YOUR GODDAMN FUCKING SUPERVISOR! It's a goddamn fucking federal offense. Did you hear me? A goddamn fucking federal offense to be listening to the goddamn fucking radio instead of paying attention to the goddamn fucking road. A federal offense. I don't know if you know this but this is still the goddamn fucking United States of America, even if you don't think so."

It was the most I had ever heard the words "goddamn" followed by "fucking" in my life. It was truly one of the watershed events in my life. In New York, the subways are filled with crackheads and homeless people and while they're crazy, they're not particularly violent. Out in Western MA, our crazies don't know that the Cold War is over. They think communists have infiltrated the White House and that they are sworn to protect the great United States of America, even if that means handing out sentences of capital punishment to bus drivers who listen to the Who.

Best Fake Graduation Ever!

My favorite part is when they announced the names of the 40 graduating nerd kids who received research grants, had them all come up and stand on the stage, and then had them all sit back down. No certificates, no handshakes, no nothing. That's what you get for all your ambition, smart kids! A whole fat load of nothing!

But it guess yesterday sort of marked the beginning of the end of college. Here's a rundown of what I have left to do in the next two weeks.

Monday- Final Ghosts class, second to last Costume Design class, and last Playwrighting class

Tuesday- Usually on Tuesdays and Thursdays I try and sub teach for $70 a day in Amherst but not this week. This Tuesday is going to be filled trying to hammer out a 15 page paper on the classic moralist tradition of comedy originated by Aristophanes, revived by George Bernard Shaw, and carried today by Tony Kushner and Paula Vogel. Mixed into all this is discussion about the psychological/physiological nature of laughter, Freud's theories on jokes, and Lenny Bruce. It's a real humdinger of boringness that would only be interesting to people who like boring.

Wednesday- Last Costume Design class where we present rough sketches of five designs and the color schemes we'll use for each. Yes. It is that exciting.

Thursday- I might sub if I can get that fifteen page paper done. But of course, if I get that fifteen page paper done, I could take Thursday and write my ten page paper on liminality Angels in America or draw and color those five designs from wednesday over.

Friday- Turn in my fifteen page paper in around noon or so and then go to sleep till 6pm. Then at 7pm, I'm going to the Fine Arts Center so that I can pick up all my information about Play-in-a-Day. I'm one of five playwrights (me, the only undergrad and four pros) who will be given a prompt line or word or something and then a set number of actors and their bios and then go home and write a play between the hours of 8pm and 8am. I might update live all night on www.sean-sullivan.com and I'm definetly going to the Whately Diner at 3:00Am with Seangeorge and possible SCotes. If you'd like to watch the progress live, tune in at 8pm Friday night and keep hitting refresh on your browser until something pops up thats new. If you'd like to eat greasy diner food at 3:00 Am, meet us at the Whate.

Saturday- I turn my play in at 8am and then hopefully go home and sleep all day. Then at 8PM in the Rand Theater, all five new plays will be presented by a company of actors and tech people who have been working on them all day. If you'd like to go, tickets are only a dollar for students. It should be great at best and interesting at least. Then there will probably be a party.

Sunday- I'm going to be finishing up the work that I didn't get done on Thursday

Monday- Turn in ten page Angels paper. Finish Costume work.

Tuesday- Turn in Costume work.

Wednesday-Saturday- Nothing. Maybe subbing. Maybe not. Might try and go down and watch the Great and Secret Show that Thursday. I should probably email Chris/Dave (Dave, if you read this, I'm going to email you).

Sunday- Commencement 2005. If it's sunny and I can get a ride, I'll go. If it's rainy, I'll sleep. Either way, it's going to be a waste of time.

After that? Who knows. I'll be working at the Registry most likely this summer and then hopefully getting famous and rich and famous after that.

Cheers.

Update Part 2

No grocery store but I was brought supplies from Costco.

24 Cans of Coke
Two bags of Frosted Mini-Wheats in one box
A box of Nature's Valley Oats and Honey Granola Bars
A case of water, specifically Aquafina
A Fart Sandwich
A Bowling ball bag filled with Gushers (trademark)

Update

In about a half hour, I'm going to be heading off to the Commonwealth College Celebration of Excellence. Essentially, UMass is far to big to recognize graduating seniors individually. While this is a bummer for parents and nerdy kids, I couldn't be happier that on May 22, commencement will be about an hour and a half long and then I can get out of there. I care so little about my actual commencement that I told my parents not to bother coming up for it.

But Commenwealth College, an organization that has been nothing but a pain in the ass for the past four years, what with all their paperwork, weekly emails, and stupid "harder" classes, feels that us "elite" should be individually recognized by a panel of people whom I've never met/seen/care to see/or care to meet. But I'm going, mainly for my parents who say "I'm only going to graduate from college once" (fingers crossed that I get rich/famous/rich enough to never need grad school).

So today, I'm going to the Commonwealth College Celebration of Excellence today... where I'll pick up my Honors cord so that in two weeks, when I really graduated, I can stick out in a football field of mediocrity. The real kick in the balls is that this is all an empty gesture. I STILL HAVE THREE DAYS OF CLASSES! Why are we celebrating my excellence when I'm not even sure I'm graduating? (Note: I am graduating, barring an F in Costume Design which surprisingly is not very likely to happen). In High School, I think we got our National Honor Society sashes after school in a meeting where we talked about building a park bench or tree or something in honor of drunk driving. I could have to a meeting. That would have been fine with me.

But alas, as I sit here in my pajamas with 27 mins till my ride shows up, my parents are presumably on the road and I'm going to get dressed and then sit in a sea of boring for two hours and then eat some Italian food at Pinocchio's Del Cucinajsjaginnisalda and then guilt-trip my parents into taking me grocery shopping. If all goes well, I'll post what I got at the grocery store right here in this very blog! Won't that be exciting, Steve?

This is a reminder for myself

Buy Sufjan Stevens records.